Potential Puppy Owner Test

Are you truly ready for a dog? This is a test that every Potential Puppy Owner (PPO) must pass and, after passing, will be given a license to begin learning about the breed of their choice.

 

No physical force, yelling, or cursing is allowed during the test. Protective clothing or soil-proof clothes are not allowed. Small wounds and scratches are to be handled in a blasé’ manner.

 

Tests will be held in a variety of environments and PPO will enter brush, woods etc with a happy face.

 

Any PPO seen wiping dog hair or saliva off their clothing will not pass.

 

The Tests

 

• PPO must control a highly stimulated 10 month old male GSD puppy. PPO must be able to get the dog to do a down in two minutes. Flat buckle collar and nylon lead only.
  
• PPO must stand between a 14 month old Golden Retriever and a field. The handler of the puppy will then throw a ball directly into the path of the Golden. PPO must stand their ground and take their clobbering in good nature.
• PPO must serve dinner to 6 Rottweiler puppies, not older than 6 months and not younger than 4 months. PPO must not spill the food and the puppies will not be held in any stay position.
• PPO must quiet 4 Shelties, or 6 Pomeraniens, when the doorbell rings. PPO has two minutes and the puppies must have been handled previously by a breeder immune to the noise who lives in the middle of nowhere.
• PPO must hold their ground with 10 Jack Russels chasing an animal they perceive as prey. PPO must hold their leashes and not move more than 6 inches. No corrections may be issued, but PPO is welcome to try to distract them.
• PPO must walk 2 Great Danes on ice. PPO must not move more than 100 feet.
• PPO must play with a Newfoundlander after the dog has been swimming in a pond. They must attempt to dry themselves with a dishtowel. At no time will the PPO appear disgusted.
• PPO must leave 3 Huskies alone in their home, uncrated, for 3 hours. PPO is allowed to cry upon return.
• PPO must groom an adult male collie blowing coat completely within 25 minutes, ears, nails, teeth and coat. The dog will have been recently bathed to give PPO a fighting chance.
• PPO must fit a Basenji into a winter coat within 5 minutes. Basenji cannot have worn a coat before.
• PPO must removes thistles from an English Setter by hand with a fine-toothed comb.
• PPO must exercise a Viszla that has not been out for 2 days.  PPO must not tire out before the dog.
• PPO must sleep in the same room as a bulldog. If the PPO cannot sleep, they must be happy in the morning.
• PPO will navigate through 10 small dogs without stepping on one.
• PPO must be able to secure a good supply of used plastic bags within 3 days.
• PPO must be able to successfully get a dog to throw up in a plastic grocery bag while in the passenger seat of a car.
• PPO must not die of shock when they get the vet bill for neutering a Mastiff.
• PPO must sit in a closed room with two dogs that were fed broccoli and beans and exhibit no disgusted facial expressions.
• PPO must vow to nurture, love, train and care for their dogs for the rest of the dog’s life.
• PPO must accept that each dog is an individual which needs to live in a pack.
• PPO must vow to educate themselves about the breed of their choice and requirements expected.
• PPO must vow to obtain his dog from a reputable shelter/rescue/breeder.

 

Furthermore

 

• PPO must conduct themselves in a responsible manner, securing liberties for the rest of the dog-loving community.
• PPO must remain good-humored and remember that for every insane, tough moment there will be a hundred more good ones.
• PPO must try to be the person that their dog thinks they are.

 

(Joy Henderson Carder)