My House – My Dog – My Rules

(1) This is the dog’s home, not yours, so show some respect. If you have been invited around, then you know me well enough to know I am a dog lover.

(2) If you want to sit down, find an empty seat. Don’t expect the dog to move.

(3) If you don’t want to get covered in dog hair, then don’t sit down, bring a lint roller or strip off at the door (although I rather hope you don’t).

(4) Don’t ask me to remove the dog from a room, would you ask someone to shove their child in the attic when you come over?

(5) If you are allergic to dogs, then that’s not my problem, take a pill and quit whining. Or better still, don’t come over.

(6) Don’t shoo away the dog if the dog decides to say hello, please don’t be rude or I’ll have to shoo you out the door.

(7) If the dog chooses to sit on you, feel honored not annoyed. If you upset the dog then I will unleash Hell. You have been warned.

(8) No need to tell me your opinion regarding the dog being “allowed” to walk on the table, scratch the sofa etc. See rule number 1.

(9) Saying “It’s just a dog” to me is offensive, the dog is part of my family, I love and respect all my family, including the ones with four legs.

(10) Finally, remember this at all times: I prefer the dog to you.

(Author unknown)