The death of a pet affects everyone in the home
I’ve communicated with thousands of grieving pets over
the last twenty years and some were totally devastated by the loss of a
companion animal. I’ve even had a few cases where the remaining pet suddenly
dies of what appears to be a broken heart. Many pets have revealed feelings of
worry or fear because they didn’t know what happened to their companion and one
day they were just gone. Others shared feelings of confusion when they watched
their human take the ailing pet away to never return. Some remaining pets thought that the ailing
pet may be lost or couldn’t find their way back home. They couldn’t understand
why their human wasn’t out looking for them.
A few pets even felt responsible for the illness,
demise or death of a companion animal especially if they had been naughty or if
their humans had reprimanded them during their last few days. I have heard so
many agonizing stories from grieving pets and most could have been spared the
added trauma had their humans taken a few simple steps to help them through
their grief.
We often neglect the remaining pet
When you share your life with a pet you take on many
responsibilities for their care and well-being. This includes caring for them
at the end of their life. Managing an injury, illness, or medication is part of
being a pet parent. But when the day
comes that you must say goodbye we often focus our attention on the pet that is
nearing the end of life. We unintentionally overlook our remaining pets in
those final days or months. When the ailing pet dies the whole house feels
empty and strange. The energy shifts
when a pet passes away as the hierarchy within the household changes.
The remaining pets will often show behavioral changes
as they adjust to their new role within the family. Dogs are pack animals and
their natural instinct is to seek security among their trusted pack
members. Cats don’t always seek
companionship the way dogs do but many don’t respond well to any changes in
their routine. Horses naturally seek protection from members of the herd. Some
pets seem to be deeply affected by the loss of a companion animal while others
carry on as if nothing has happened. One thing is certain, life as you know it
has changed and it will never be the same again.
How do I know my pet is grieving?
Your pet may show signs of depression or grief just
like we do. Many pets will turn away
from their food or treats while others will sulk around in a sorrowful way.
Many grieving pets will whine, cry, or yowl as they search the house looking
for their best friend and companion. If
your pets were together for a long time the grief may be more pronounced
lasting from days to months or longer.
Each pet responds differently and I have seen cases
where a remaining pet suddenly becomes fearful of things that never bothered
them before. This happens when the pet that died was their source of
confidence. They drew their feelings of
safety from them and when that pet dies, they lose their self-confidence. In
other instances, the complete opposite happens when a dominant pet passes away
the remaining pet becomes more outgoing as they move up to a new level of the
hierarchy. We are often so caught up in our own pain that we may overlook our
pets and their feelings during this difficult time. It is not intentional, but
our lives can be totally disrupted when a pet dies.
Signs your pet may be grieving are:
– Loss of appetite
– Restlessness
– Lethargic or no interest in toys
– Vocalizations – yowling, crying or whining
– Neediness
– Avoidance
– Changes in normal sleeping patterns
– Inappropriate potty habits
– Destructive behavior
– Aggression/dominance
You can help your pets understand what is happening and ease them into
healing
Communicate openly with your pets about illness,
injuries or end of life issues that are occurring in the household. Even when a
human family member is ill or dying, talk out loud to your pets in simple
sentences as you would to a child of about nine or ten years of age. This will
accomplish a few things:
– It allows the resident pet to hear in your own words
what is happening
– It lets them see the images that flash in your mind
as you speak
– It allows them to feel your sorrow and sadness
I magine how you would feel if someone you loved simply
vanished
I live on a farm so when I lose a pet I allow my other
pets to inspect the body before they are buried. They are able to sense that
the life force is gone and they are no longer in that body. I perform a simple
ceremony with sage, smudging, prayers, and blessings. Another method is to take
a towel with the departed pet’s scent and allow the others to inspect it as you
explain that they passed away and moved into spirit form. This allows them to say their final goodbyes
and gives them closure so they know what happened and they won’t wonder why
their best friend suddenly disappeared.
How do I help my grieving pet?
There are a few things you can do to help your pet
move through their grief and into healing:
– Spend more time with them and give them extra love
and TLC
– Bring them a new toy, cat tree, or a new cushy bed
– Physical activities help them release pent up
emotions
– Make sure they are not left alone after the loss of
a companion pet
– Consult with a trusted veterinarian if their
condition deteriorates
Should I get another pet?
This is a common question I hear from my clients and
one that can change the energy within the household even more. The best answer
I have is that it depends on each situation. Some remaining pets are very
excited about bringing in a new companion while others are not. If the resident
pet is older, weaker, and not in the best of health it is best to leave well
enough alone and not add any new pets to the household. A communication session
is always a good way to find out how the remaining pet feels about adding a new
friend.
Express your feelings to your pets and embrace every precious moment
Remember your pets may not understand all the details
when you talk to them but they will absorb your energy and pick up on your
emotions. Sharing your feelings, talking about what is happening or what
happened to a pet that died is the best way to help your remaining pets. As you
move through your grief into healing your pets will likely do so too. They
absorb your energy and emotions and will naturally feel more confident and
balanced. When you are ready, talk to them about all the happy memories you
shared. They will feel the love in your heart and know that their beloved
companion has made their transition to the Other Side in peace and dignity.
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