Something must be up today. Everyone is acting
strange.
Mom is talking to everyone in codes. Spelling out
three letter names.
Does she really not know I can spell? Maybe I should
remind her again.
Every dog in the world knows V-E-T, means place that
sticks you with pins!
I gotta find some place to hide. Mom’s going crazy,
she's got it bad.
Following me all around the backyard, putting my poop
in a clear bag!!!!
She has a folder full of papers; on it is my name.
She puts me in the back of her SUV. She floors it, man she can fly.
As I look back in the picture window, Mr. Kitty cat is
waving bye bye!
We get to this weird looking building; I have been
through this drill before.
Where all the animals growl at each other, and someone
usually pees on the floor.
The vet is kinda busy today. That looks strange, what
the heck?
How in the world did that happen, that Beagle has a
funnel around his neck?
I asked him, how did he get this way? I couldn’t
believe what he said.
He said they chopped off these things that were making
him mean and threw them away instead!
That’s it. I gotta make a break. Oh no, they just called
my name.
What if they chop something off me? I will never be
the same!
They dragged me to the back of this place, onto
something called a scale.
Mom tells them all about me. I'm a two year old,
unaltered male!
Now they want to take my temperature. You want to put
that thing where?
I don’t see that happening bud, as my mom just sits in
that chair.
A lot of help she is holding that baggie full of my
poo!
If I ever go with you to your vet, see if I try to
help you!!
Now they are talking in codes together, something
about D H L P.
I think all that translates into a needle is going in
me!!
A lady walks into the room with a smile on her face.
She says baby this won’t hurt a bit! They sure lie a
lot in this place!
She grabs the fur behind my neck. I have been through
this before.
I will get even with you smiley lady, I'm going to pee
right on your floor!
Mom screams oh gosh, I am sorry! I am peeing and I
just can’t stop.
Maybe miss smiley lady should trade that needle for a
mop.
Mom drags me out to the checkout desk. They said my
sample was fine.
She makes an appointment and pays the fee, says I will
see you all next time!
I bet they remember me for a long time. I left that
exam room a wreck.
I am glad I got out with nothing being chopped and no
funnel around my neck!!
(Jerry Wayne Baldwin;
from “This K-9 of Mine”)
*****
The book “This K-9 of
Mine: Poetic short stories from a dog's point of view, plus a few from the
owner's vantage point, too.” is available as Kindle version here.
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