Dog's night before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas

I've found many canine versions of this Holiday classic – here one of the variants. 

 

*****

 

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

My dogs were nestled, all snug in "MY" bed,

While visions of chewie toys danced in their heads.

 

I in my sweat pants and Dad in his sweater,

Had just settled down to read the Great Dog Reporter,

When up on the roof there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter!

 

Off to the window I flew in a flash,

Tore open the shutter and threw up the sash.

The moon on the crest of the new fallen snow

Gave a luster of midday to the objects below.

 

And what to my wondering eyes did appear

but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver so lively and quick

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

'Twas the night before Christmas (2)

'Twas the night before Christmas

I've found many canine versions of this Holiday classic – here one of the variants. 

*****

 

'Twas the night before Christmas and the kennels were still,

With most dogs now asleep having eaten their fill.

The Labradors sprawled out, quite snug in their beds,

While visions of ANYTHING edible danced in their heads.

And the Goldens and Shepherds curled up on the floor,

Some twitched in their sleep and some even did snore.

The dog food was stacked in the feed room with care,

In hopes that a trainer soon would be there.

 

On the window ledge, one of the kennel cats lay,

Surveying the lawn at the end of this day.

Something was different, that little cat knew.

Tonight something would happen, it had to be true.

For that day as the workers had left to go home,

They'd wished Merry Christmas! before starting to roam.

The dogs had noticed it to during this past week's walks,

The trainers seemed just that much happier and eager to talk.

'Twas the night before Christmas (1)

Twas the night before Christmas
I've found many canine versions of this Holiday classic – here one of the variants.

*****

 

And all through the crates

Not a Dalmatian was stirring

Not even for bait.

The puppies were nestled

All snug in their beds

While visions of biscuits

Danced in their heads

 

The stockings were hung

By the fireplace of stone

In hopes they'd be filled

With rawhide and bones

 

Ma in her nightshirt

And I in my robe

Had just settled down

By the ol' woodstove

A Christmas poem

Oh you better watch out,

You better not growl,

You better not bark,

You better not howl,

Santa Claws is coming to town ...

 

He knows when you are staying,

He knows when 'ur on a down,

He knows where you've been pissin'

So you better be a very good hound,

 

Oh you better be quiet,

You better not beg,

You better not bite,

Or hump a strange leg,

Santa Claws is coming to town ...

 

He know if you're butt sniffin",

He knows what you've chewed up,

He knows if you've been eatin' turds,

So you better be a pretty good pup,

 

He's makin a list,

Checkin it twice,

He wants know why,

We have so many mice,

Santa Claws is coming to town ...

 

Oh you bettern not chase,

You better not shed,

You better not whine,

And stay out of my bed,

Santa Claws is coming to town ...

 

HO HO HO

 

(Maximillion Chewbacha Meagher, 1996)

Es weihnachtet sehr …

Morgen kommt der Weihnachtsmann,

kommt mit seinen Gaben.

Zwölf Pfund Gulasch, unverpackt,

dicken Knochen, der fein knackt,

Hot Dogs und kein Teletakt,

möcht' ich gerne haben!

 

Morgen kommt der Weihnachtsmann,

kommt mit seinen Gaben.

Langen Ausflug übers Land,

Grosseinkauf am Würstchenstand;

Freiheit und kein Stachelband,

möcht' ich gerne haben!

 

Morgen kommt der Weihnachtsmann,

kommt mit seinen Gaben.

Süsse Plätzchen und Makron',

Urlaub ohne Tierpension,

von der Senta einen Sohn,

möcht' ich gerne haben!

 

(Autor  unbekannt)

In the winter light I see it

(Sung to the tune of Willie Nelson's "Blue Eyes Crying In the Rain") 

In the winter light I see it

Brown things sitting on the snow

Everywhere my doggie's wandered

Shining with a golden glow

Wilbur's not real fond of winter

It's so hard to make him go

Still I know I'll see till springtime

Dog poop sitting on the snow ...

(Author unknown)

Holiday etiquette for dogs

Be especially patient with your humans during this time. 

1.      They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.

2.      They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

3.      Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.

4.      They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:
* Don't pee on the tree.
* Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree.
* Mind your tail when you are near the tree.
* If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have
   your name on them, don't rip them open.
* Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree.

5.      Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:
* Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans.
* Don't eat off the buffet table.
* Beg for goodies subtly.
* Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa.
* Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach.

6.      Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:
Observe all the rules for trees that may be in other people's houses (4a is particularly important).
* Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house.
* Tolerate children.
* Turn on your charm big time.

7.      A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DON'T BITE HIM!

 

(Author unknown)

Unter'm Weihnachtsbaum

Es war einmal, unter'm Weihnachtsbaum,

da erfüllte sich mein Hundetraum.

Ein Päckchen in Geschenkpapier,

was erschnüffelt meine Nase denn hier?

saftig - lecker - fein,

ein, zwei, drei Stücke Ohren vom Schwein.

 

Nix wie ran an das Geschenkeband,

schnell weg mit dem lästigen Papier:

'Die Ohren, die sind "MIR". '

Meine Äuglein, die leuchten,

mein Magen schon knurrt,

warum ist das Geschenkeband so festgezurrt?

 

Die Mühe war groß, doch ich hab's geschafft,

ich habe mein Päckchen allein ausgepackt.

Und endlich, da sah ich sie vor mir liegen,

leck're Schweineohren, die sich biegen!

Genüsslich kauend wird mir klar,

Weihnachten ist auch für ganz wunderbar!

 

(Autor unbekannt)

Gift wrapping with a puppy

1. Gather presents, boxes, paper, etc. in middle of living room floor.
2. Get tape back from puppy.
3. Remove scissors from older chow's mouth.
4. Open box.
5. Take puppy out of box.
6. Remove tape from older chow's mouth.
7. Take scissors away from puppy.
8. Put present in box.
9. Remove present from puppy's mouth.
10. Put back in box after removing puppy from box.

A Christmas "Tail"

Shags yawned as he stretched and rolled over. The fire was crackling and his family was asleep upstairs. He liked watching the lights on the tree twinkle and reflect on all the shiny objects that hung from it.

"Yes," he thought to himself, "I am a very lucky Sheepie." 

Normally, Shags slept next to Amelia. Her father would push her chair to the bottom of the stairs, then carry her to her room and tuck her in. Shags waited patiently until this process was completed before taking his "position" on the bed. Amelia's father always gave Shags a quick butt scratch and reminded him to take care of "our girl" before leaving the room. This was the time of day Shags loved the most. Amelia would scratch his head and tell him her dreams, sometimes through tears - dreams of dancing, skating, playing or even just walking. Shags tried his best to comfort Amelia by softly licking her fingers or very quietly whimpering, just a little, to let her know he understood. He wished he could tell her how much he loved her, as she told him, every night, just before they drifted off to sleep. 

Tonight was different, though. After Amelia's mom and dad went to bed, Shags quietly stole downstairs to wait. This was his fourth Christmas with Amelia and her family, but he only started remembering his arrival this past year. He remembered that before he was Amelia's, there was no one to love him. He wandered the streets of the city with his buddies, looking for food and shelter. Neither of those things came easy. One day, while Shags was off sniffing around on his own, a man approached him. Shags was not afraid of humans like the others were, and so he allowed this man to get close. The next thing he knew, there was a cord around his neck and he was being put into a truck.

He was unloaded at a place where there were lines of cages, some of them held old friends and acquaintances. He was placed in a cage with another dog of no particular lineage, who was very old and very tired.

"What is this place?" asked Shags.

The no particular dog explained the place to him, which really didn't sound all that bad until the last sentence was uttered: "They keep you until someone comes for you or your time is up, whichever comes first."

This did not sound good.

Tears of remembrance

There will come a day when your tears of sorrow will softly flow into tears of remembrance ... and your heart will begin to heal itself ... and grieving will be interrupted by episodes of joy ... and you will hear the whisper of hope.

There will come a day when you will welcome the tears of remembrance ... as a sunshower of the soul ... a turning of the tide ... a promise of peace.

There will come a day when you will ... risk loving ... go on believing... and treasure the tears of remembering. 

(Author unknown)

While we are apart

Distance may separate us, but my heart will never let you go,

For I carry a part of you with me always.

It keeps me going through the day.

It brings a smile to my face and tears to my eyes.

It is a part of my dreams that I live for and cherish.

That part is my wish, my only one,

To see you again soon.

I know that wish will someday come true.

But for now, I will hold in my heart

The memory of you

And never let you go.

 

(Author unknown)

Rest your weary head (or: For a loved dog)

Rest your weary little head and drift off into dreams

Frolic in the sunshine and bathe in God's moonbeams

Use the stars as stepping stones to take you to your peace

The pain of life forgotten now you have found release.

 

Without rain a flower folds, the petals drop and die

There was no way to save you, you couldn't even cry

So we cry all the tears instead as we must let you go

To Heaven and God's garden to blossom and to grow.

 

The little seed is planted, you'll be watered every day

The angels will tend all your needs as in their arms you lay

Your life will be amazing now and full of wondrous things.

Rest in peace, our dear, sweet poppy, go fly on angels wings.

 

(Author unknown)

The soul of a dog

My playful dog would sneak up as I slept

Then my face he would swab with his tongue

Though most of his loyal exploits and faith

And his acts of pure love went unsung.

 

What better example of love can be found

Than the love of a true faithful pet

A dog whose consistent attention to you

Leaves memories you never can forget

 

A dog unrequited love will you give

Your affection he never will spurn.

Responsive he'll be to your every command

And will nothing expect in return.

 

He'll accept all affection that's directed his way

But content if he just can be near.

Yet always he hopes you will reach out your hand

And scratch behind both of his ears.

 

All of my dogs lived a rich and full life

Till death finally tallied its toll,

But ere they departed, I looked in their eyes

And I swear that each dog had a soul.

 

(Author unknown)

There is no death

There is no death! The stars go down

To rise upon some other shore,

And bright in heaven's jeweled crown

They shine forevermore.

 

There is no death! The forest leaves

Convert to life the viewless air;

The rocks disorganize to feed

The hungry moss they bear.

 

There is no death! The dust we tread

Shall change, beneath the summer showers

To golden grain, or mellowed fruit,

Or rainbow-tinted flowers.