Whelping alphabet

A Abnormal Birth

The only kind you hear of after you have your bitch in whelp.

 

B Box for Whelping

Essential piece of equipment which is used at the onset of labor, but which is later left in order to produce the first pup on your bed.

 

C Cardiac Arrest

Not common in whelping bitches, but often seen in owners around 62nd day of bitches gestation.

 

D Dog

What you wish you had bought in the first place.

 

E Euphemisms

For some reason adopted by breeders. e.g. “Puppies are thriving” means puppies have just eaten next month’s housekeeping budget in five days.

 

F False Alarms

Games played by whelping bitches to keep owners on their toes.

 

G Garden

What you had before your puppies.

 

H Hand Rearing

Not recommended unless you have eight hands.

 

I Imperfections

Your puppies, of course, have none.

 

J Joy

Despite other comments, puppies bring a lot of it with them.

 

K Kennel

That shed in the garden that used to stay empty until you stored tools in it.

 

L Long Sleep-Ins

What you don’t have for a very long time.

 

M Milk

You will need a lot of it. Recommend developing friendship with someone in the trade.

 

N Next Time

Next time you’ll be more organized!

 

O Old Clothes

The only kind you have after rearing puppies.

 

P Pedigree

After writing out a five-generation pedigree eight times, you will agree there is a lot to be said for mongrels.

 

Q Quota

Dictionary defines this words as “finite quantity”.   Visualize litter of eight – then number nine arrives.

 

R Refurnishing

Takes place after sorting out debris once the last puppy is gone.

 

S Stress

Can be bought in cans. Can also be found accompanied by strain in owners.

 

T Teeth

Teething puppies are an upholsterer’s dream. See “R”.

 

U Useful Articles

Scissors, cotton, LARGE WHISKEY.

 

V Vet

The chap whose phone number you learn by heart.

 

W Weaning

Excellent method for getting the smallest amount of milk and food over the largest area of floors, walls, etc. in the shortest time.

 

X X-rayed

What your head should have been before you started all this.

 

Y Yellow Fever

About the only disease you decide the puppies don’t have when they sneeze the first time.

 

Z Zigzag Zoom!

Puppies do it when you try to catch them to put them back in their kennel.

 

(Jerrie Wolfe & David Wilson)